This is a strange phenomenon and dilemma that you may find as I did, that when you’re in the catch, it really affects you and can keep you stuck for years.
What’s the catch 22?
>> When you want it or need it, you can’t have it.
The more you want sex or dating success as a single man, the more it stays away from you and somehow knows to stay away from you which makes you want it more.
And the cycle continues. Sound familiar? (It’s a generalization yet still effectively accurate…then you’ll find when you ‘weren’t trying’ or stopped caring women were more into you).
Yet you’ll notice when you’re WITH a woman (dating and having sex), that OTHER women finally start taking interest in you and you can’t figure out why.
And then when you’re ‘single’ again and start ‘looking’, generally women stay away from you and dating becomes a challenge again taking a lot of effort to manifest even something of a connection.
It can be the most frustrating thing b/c you can’t control women yet still value connection. And then you can get caught up more in fantasyland.
What’s at stake?
Well, your sex life.
Being unwantedly single…and I don’t mean single and partying, I mean the LONELY type of disconnected, frustrated, unworthy, confounded even apathetic single where women just stay away from you no matter what you do…esp. the types you REALLY want.
You could have dry spells for months or years getting even more disconnected from women. (hey, even I was there).
And I noticed this before…I’d have dry spells of dating and then be dating multiple women.
David DeAngelo acknowledged this phenomena as well and pinpointed it’s the energy that he’s actually in.
(For a woman, wanting, needing or desiring love from a man can keep it away from her even more or attract unfulfilling or dysfunctional versions of it).
And it’s this energy and vibe you’re ‘stuck’ in that repels them even more the MORE you want ‘it’. And whatever you do to try to change it, nothing changes…because you still ‘want it’.
You may already recognize this dilemma in your own life at some point…it’s so accurate that it may have already shocked you I’m saying this. It was very real for me @ times.
And if you try to deny that you don’t want it when you really really DO or be indifferent when meeting women; there’s just this big incongruency with yourself. You put on a front when around women when your subconscious and vibe is communicating something else entirely (that is out of your control).
And…it can feel like lying to yourself to say you don’t really want it when you do. And women sense your intentions nearly instantly which further keeps you stuck or settling for less.
What makes this so phreaky, is that it’s so ACCURATE.
But that’s the craziest thing;
How can you HAVE something and be fulfilled when you don’t actually HAVE IT?
((The answer (which took me years to discover) is unbelievably powerful, effective and accurate. There may be other ways but this really works and we’re getting to it))
Again; women are so intuitive and sense all of this even before you SPEAK. You may not be conscious of any of it but women already know from your vibe and what energy you’re communicating…which can further make things frustrating as hell for you.
In these cases; your subconscious sexual desires are owning you AND it’s preventing success while you’re oblivious to how to actually make a change. I mean it might be a long time until you finally reconnect with a real girl again in this state.
So what actually CHANGED when you were wanting it as an unwanted single to when you were having sex with a woman and other women were interested and you could be dating multiple women?
What were you communicating differently?
You didn’t NEED (sex from) women BECAUSE YOU HAD IT, thus it was opened up to you. You didn’t have to seek it or get it outside of yourself. You were in the energy of HAVING it and in sharing CONNECTION with a woman.
So how can you actually break the cycle if you’re stuck IN catch 22 right now (where you WANT it but it knows to stay away from you)?
In other words; how can you have something you don’t actually have so that you can HAVE it? (Oh we’ll say something like sexual attraction and sex).
How can you actually be fulfilled within of sex even when you really AREN’T so that you can ATTRACT women (even if you’re ‘dry’ for years)?
How can you HAVE sex and fulfillment in your presence/vibe and energy without fooling yourself or ‘faking’ it b/c that can be even worse AND b/c women would see through it anyways?
The answer is sexual presence but I’m going to come in from a different angle so you can understand it.
Included with embodying sexual presence so you truly live in a different state in the moment (so you’re not ‘ahead of time’ visualizing her in bed and scaring her away); is the practical and effective answer is to change your definition and valuation of sex.
B/c from this paradigm, otherwise you’re still stuck in the loop until you somehow GET a girlfriend so that you can be fulfilled with sex again.
If sex is always external and women holds the power outside of you, you’re inherently stuck in a dynamic where you don’t have ‘sex’ because it’s outside of you. Wanting it more as a man (which isn’t the way attraction works physically with women), keeps it away from you.
It’s not even just in this area but in any area of ‘success’. Here’s what crazy when you really look at it; the answer comes down to the power of now. Yeah, like Eckhart Tolle but applied to the real world more practically. It’s actually perhaps the HIDDEN secret to success itself.
Because if you don’t have success NOW, success is always in the future and if you’re in that energy, the future never arrives b/c there is only the now. Success has to be in the now.
Thus the answer = PRESENCE.
BE successful now (without faking it) to actually ATTRACT success and come from the ENERGY of success. It really took my business master coach David Neagle to wake me up on this one but it’s so important.
So let’s just bring it back to the catch 22 in dating.
A part of embodying sexual presence and making the big switch in your vibe which women can tell, is changing your definition of sex so that it comes from something else than conditionally requiring a woman to fulfill it.
So if and when you change your definition of sex itself to something more accurate so you don’t have to LIE to yourself or ‘act’ like you don’t want it when she’s seeing right through you anyways.
The general answer is to be FULFILLED with sex energetically so that you can then attract it (instead of taking and needing it from women like a leech).
If you’re in the energy where you’re NOT fulfilled now and sex is something external and it requires a woman to fulfill it, you’re going to be coming from an un-successful vibe. She’ll sense that you want to take or get something from her.
Yet it’s when you’re fulfilled within of sex and don’t ‘need’ it outside of yourself that things actually WORK and attracts MORE attraction and connection with women.
To make the change without fooling yourself, deepen your understanding of sex to something greater.
When sex = life force chi energy and sexual polarity instead of a consensual PHYSICAL connection with a woman (and ANY of the ‘roadblocks’ in the path to get there), then you can be in the ENERGY of sexual fulfillment. Then, you can even work on ROCK STAR sex energy and attraction.
When you look at movie star hunks…women are into them b/c of one thing; sexual presence (even take away their social status or fame). They’re not trying to ‘get’ something in the future, they have more power in the moment coming across (vibe/charisma/chi).
Change your valuation of what = sex and then you’re in the energy of GIVING and CONNECTION which then attracts physical relationships with women; new experience.
Women can then GROW and be sexually awakened by being associated with you instead of your selfish energy of wanting to ‘get sex’ from women keeping you STUCK in the catch 22 and then desiring it more and it stays away from you etc.
But you have to be careful b/c the fantasy of you desiring women feels good and your subconscious wants more of it, so connection with real women can be an entirely abnormal thing. If you really want to change, you’ve got to break the entire dysfunctional cycle.
As you can imagine, the implications of this are pretty huge. You have to figure out how important this is for your life; are you stuck in the catch 22 right now? How about before?
Can you see how it’s effectively keeping you stuck no matter how much work you do to improve? Do you understand that sexual attraction isn’t a woman’s CONSCIOUS choice but it’s how she subconsciously responds and feels around your sexual presence?
Are you willing to make a change if it would finally get you results or do you actually truly value fantasy itself more?
The solution is to embody sexual presence so that you are over-brimming with sexual power and confidence and don’t need it from women. Then, you can be indifferent or not but your power comes from WITHIN and doesn’t require a woman to validate you. THAT is sexy and actually attracts women, when you really own it and ARE it.
As soon as you leave here you’ll be surrounded by the whole social matrix that supports you being stuck and in fantasyland of sex and relationships instead of actual physical connection. And like before, chances are you’ll stay in the catch 22.
So to sum it up;
When you make the shift and stop needing something subconsciously outside of yourself to fulfill a void within yourself, everything will change with women. Sexual presence embodiment and escaping the catch 22 will shift everything about you so that even if you ARE single single and not having sex, your vibe is entirely different and women will start opening up to you.
It can really be a mindtwist at first but the more you dig into it, the more clear it will be. Want to finally handle this and break the catch 22 of wanting sex and rarely actually manifesting connection with a woman?
To help you get even more clarity on real world sexual attraction, this may be the most important thing you’ve ever read on sexual attraction.