Recently I attended Destin Gerek’s Enticing Desire weekend in Malibu.
I had heard of Destin earlier a few years ago as we had shared a mutual client together but it wasn’t until May when I was last in Thailand that we had first connected. Etienne had sent me a link about an ashram experience in Philippines. I ended up going b/c it felt right and based my decision on intuition about the offer and in meeting Destin.
Our relationship has been growing ever since then and a few weeks earlier Etienne and I took my car to the same Malibu place where he was staying. I was already a member of his embodied man’s program (which really took me putting my pride aside b/c we are/were essentially equals) and this weekend was like a bonus.
We pulled our own car pool together the night before and they met us in my garage. We then drove up on Saturday morning arriving @ 10:30 a.m. (which wasn’t as late as it could have been as we were waiting for the other 2 of my own men who joined to show up).
I’ve learned that it’s truly best that I drive in the Malibu hills…for some reason it’s the best bet for minimizing motion sickness; it’s just something about the driver’s seat.
As we arrived they hadn’t started yet and men were enjoying the view. Most of the men were at the previous weekend elsewhere in Malibu the same weekend I had arrived (still driving the Budget moving truck).
Saturday was just the men and we had Destin-led discussions. There were some exercises but they were done in a natural progression and flow. One thing I’ve learned to value is new experiences and creating new memories. B/c my presence is so strong in the moment, I can forget things instantly.
I’ve learned to take mastery notes in my shorthand. The weekend was focus on men and their connection with women although we did more masculine connection first.
At one point we went by the pool and were connecting with our more primal self. Part of me wanted to ignore it or just get it over with but I knew it was important to reconnect.
We practiced like a hands-held high pressure move with eye contact and growling. Although I could have avoided it, I value my masculine experience in new ways and to deepen connection so I chose the man who was most obviously primally connected based on our previous weekend after the initial partnering.
That was pretty intense and was wearing everyone down….then we went into zen meditation for 15 minutes but it took me 3 minutes to start catching my breath (there was some good growling goin’ on). Some of us our voices were raspy afterwards.
I actually don’t remember much of the other exercises on day 1. This time I wasn’t documenting everything. I was there for the new experience and especially getting more insight into how he manages and directs the dynamics with women involved as well as being open to new techniques.
My body isn’t used to sitting on a pillow on the floor for long so I had to keep shifting…I still can’t really hold lotus position. Eventually it got night-time and the breaks were long enough that sometimes we got to know each other more.
Oh yeah…there was this AWESOME didgideroo sound healing demonstration from one of the room-mates/participants.
That lasted a while when we laid down. Afterwards people kind of socialized but I wanted to get some sleep. The lights were still on as people milled about…some went off to sleep in their cars.
I remember saying I WANT to sleep under the stars. I knew this was important and an opportunity I haven’t got very often recently (years). I remember sleeping under the stars in Kauai and having the best dream of my life and I know that colder air makes generally for better dreams.
It turned out that apparently I was the only 1 of about 20 (room-mates living there as well as the ~10 attendees) who saw any shooting stars, let alone the number that I did see.
I brought 3 blankets and 2 pillows in my video lightning bag. I had the option to sleep in Ryan’s tent but had chosen to sleep outside under the stars itself. I’m glad I did.
What happened next was unforgettable. You may even find it unbelievable or you may even envy it. In the course of the next 40~ minutes I saw 32 shooting stars.
What REALLY made it magical for me was that I was co-creating them with the Universe. I would give gratitude and heartfelt thanks and then another shooting star would cross the sky.
Basically within 10 seconds sometimes immediately after I said an intent word or thought, a NEW shooting star would cross the sky.
I’d ‘test’ it too; sometimes there would be minutes without one and then I’d reconnect and say something again and there it would be. It was truly magical.
Towards 25 I started saying words like
Beauty …shooting star
Connection ….a shooting star over here in another part of the sky
Love ….and yet again
And from the Universe it was like another affirmation. I’d go back under the cover and maybe go back to sleep but then check back in again b/c the sky was so beautiful.
I said the word freedom but then there was maybe 1 minute of ‘nothing’ so I said it with intent 2x more back to back and then within 3 seconds there was a bright, long and fast DOUBLE shooting star. I don’t know how rare they are but that was SO amazing and stunning.
The next day I found out there was apparently a meteor shower and I was not only the only 1 who saw any of it (and attracted the perfect space and timing) but it was an experience of co-creation that I’ll never forget. Your conscious mind may devalue it but the value to the subconscious? Priceless.
The night air was crisp but the 3 blankets (although still hard on the concrete) was just warm enough to be cozy. I stayed awake for a while invigorated by the outside air. Just as I was finally falling off to sleep under the covers, there was this untimely and inhuman 85 decibel snoring that was happening from in 1 of the 3 tents nearby.
It was so disturbingly loud that I just had to move inside. It was the 2nd loudest I’d ever heard.
Unfortunately I was woken again around 6:00 a.m. by the wolf pack and a very loud owner unleashing them down the stairs only to go outside with my blankets by the pool and just as I was setting down again to sleep some more outside the same wolf pack found me and started territorially barking again but this time directly at me. The wolf pack is this herd of about 6 semi-mutant small dogs living in the mansion.
There were other disturbing things like the one man who really has to work on his external calibration barging in talking loud waking people up who were all sleeping – b/c…I dunno…he was already up..stuff like that. But I knew I’d catch up on sleep later.
The same person poked me on the eye under the blanket telling me it was time to get up, but it was too early still…trying to sleep hiding under the covers from the daylight. Eventually Destin invited me to join us for breakfast inside.
So I lumbered in. Breakfast was nice; or should we call it desayuno organico?…they were playing some great Latin music with some kind of chia and fruit dish and whole coffee. Despite being behind on sleep I was in a good mood with the morning sunlight pouring in and of course the gorgeous view.
The entire weekend was catered (we paid extra) by one of the room-mates whom I’d met earlier and his wife.
Amazing and TASTY food but the effect was that it kept the 1 downstair’s (men’s) bathroom quite busy. I burned some sage in it per Destin’s request on top of finding some citrusy lysol. Good thing I did b/c women started showing up and 1 went in to use it.
So the women arrived and eventually we got started.
When the women showed up it was indeed an interesting dynamic and an entirely new experience from the previous day. They sat on one side of the room and the men on the other. It was a perfect way into the work to do the mingle exercise the way we did working from floor-gazing to eye contact. First I had a few men as eye contact partners (staring into their left eye).
After we had started Gina Marie showed up who was @ the ashram with us and I met her friend/business partner Paul.
A few days later I went to meet with them in Marina del Rey for some heart activation work. Throughout the weekend, I was quieter than usual and practicing deep listening. Even though I have no issues communicating 1 on 1 or in small groups socially with powerful and beautiful people; part of me still has performance anxiety and it’s weird b/c my presence is perfectly comfortable and confident around women and men but when I speak sometimes in public there is that incongruity; it’s something I’m still working on.
One primary exercise was having women express their feelings towards men or for past relationships while the men would simply stand and soak it in presence being the support for her without a word.
1 of the women in particular really had some strong defensive points towards men and Destin led it masterfully with a valuation of co-creation of the sexes instead of continuing the battle. Paul volunteered to soak more of her expression in.
I was there as a student and participated in all of the exercises…the only time I held back was where we were supposed to show more love and support through our eyes; I was ‘in danger’ of breaking down and getting too emotional (although it’s great healing power) so I tried to stay the witness and just ‘be’.
When women start yelling at me I generally dis-connect but this helped us (at least in this dynamic) get a new experience of holding space for a woman to go through her healing process. My partner was doing some deep emotional healing more quietly whereas other couples were more vocal and ‘charged’. The 2nd time I was witness to watch a couple as we had more men than women.
The breaks were too long but in a way it gave people more time to talk.
The lunch wrap tasted kind of sea-weedy as Gina and I talked and caught up admiring the view.
Perhaps the most invaluable thing for me was really the Heart presence connection as we went into a tantric touching experience with partners.
While part of me really thought of the opportunities in this kind of dynamic for influence and healing effect with some of the other women in particular, I’m glad I/we ended up with who we did. (I had just come out of having to do a #1 in the bathroom from hydrating, coffee and tea).
B/c of the number of people we actually had 2 or 3 groups of menages. It was me and Mykel and a woman. We started where she basically sits in your lap eye to eye. I just melted right into it from the start and we were really close.
It felt very comfortable doing the tantric (clothed) touching experience and the physical connection. I slipped right into it and my partner in crime, he also had no anxieties at all. As African-American and a former Marine, he said later that all of this was entirely new to him and the weekend changed his life.
She was older but quite receptive and there weren’t any issues having another man there; it was all flow with no resistance (he later said he was learning/attuning from with me and we worked together well).
She said at first it was really ‘hot/sexy’ on my lap, but then it was really more about the heart connection, eye-gazing and that was PERFECT feedback for me to hear and experience. The other man and I ‘worked’ on her as per Destin’s guide; from matching breathing to light touch to massage, etc.
But it’s that present heart connection (WITHOUT me getting emotional); that’s what I’ve been missing as the sexual fire hasn’t been a problem and wanted to get more into energetically expressing the heart; esp. for being around the high quality women in my lifestyle and path.
The heart stuff is so important that Paul and I planned to meet up (and actually I just had a follow-up session with him on doing more heart healing to maintain composure and open up in my presence/expression).
A lot of me has been…interesting and conditional around women. B/c I did a 5 minute eye gazing exercise @ AwesomenessFest 1 in Costa Rica (which was a very emotional and yet healing experience), I’ve been VERY conservative about eye contact with women in constructed dynamics. I hold back emotionally b/c that power can overwhelm others and it’s not normal communication.
Practicing the eye contact throughout the day in the way that we did was so important; that I could be present without it having to be ‘reserved’ for a high level healing in which I might get really emotional.
But having a foundation of sustaining eye contact and connection (esp. with the Heart connection) without me getting emotional (and having the energetic connection) is just more solid.
From a consistent foundation THEN I can bring in more Heart power, etc. (I was also hesitant during my past workshop when we had the model over; not nervous but hesitant to really get into it for that 1 minute so I diverted by doing some chi kung moves).
What really impressed me was the growth of one of my own men who was crossover. He had been partnered with a woman who was in a very unique position for the exercise to either suffer his inexperience uncomfortably or to really open up and inspire and empower him.
It was basically a life-changing experience for him. I may be promoting this woman who is a coach in the future. She really helped assist his quantum leap as well as the rest of the weekend where he finally started listening and receiving instead of only selfishly projecting towards others.
1 of the men said it was the heart – cock connection that was most important for him; for me it was energetically opening my heart in presence without it thinking it’s going to have a certain affect on her, me getting emotional or her possibly becoming co-dependent and me reserving, etc.
The weekend ended up over-delivering on my expectations and it was by being there ‘live’ that I really got the ‘experience’. I still don’t get how some people don’t really value the effect of being at events and workshops. So much can be done ‘live’ and it’s where my workshops have become legendary.
I could have easily said I’m already a master coach and closed off to it but I knew the weekend would be relevant enough as well as new experience for me so I went as a student. Connecting to Western women on the heart level – priceless for me to have that consistency.
So again; I also got more experience and insight into Destin’s depth and path as well as how he facilitated the weekend (always improving). What a high quality group of men and it was great to see such transformations.
A lot happened in a limited timeframe esp. on day 2. It was also a convergence point of the valuation of co-creation.
The power of the different techniques really started adding up over time and Day 2 became invaluable esp. when you consider the implications of more consistent and heart-open presence with women as well as a foundation of solid eye-contact (without being afraid of getting emotional and thus reserving).
When it was officially over we worked on getting a different ride back b/c Ryan was planning to stay there 1 night. We waited a while for the rest of dinner; lasagna and people socialized and milled about. I brought out some of my new crystals. I’m really impressed with Destin and this really got me to experience and feel more of that power, value and depth as a leader, peer, friend and fellow transformational coach.
To help close it off; here’s my 2014 Holiday poem (I might be starting a new tradition):;
‘Twas the ~week before Christmas
In our Malibu Men’s Fest
What a wonderful retreat
For conscious men to meet
The oneness circle kept us from scatter
And all of a sudden arose such a clatter
Who could it be?!
It was Health Way Organics
bringing us foods that matter
What tastes delight to eat through the night
But lo and behold the weekend retreat
There was but 1 men’s bathroom for men to greet
Po-litely rank as could be
For the daring to see
It was time for farewell
With more Evolve Live L.A. tickets to sell
The video gear was in for such a tight pack
Baggage to face
No spare room in the back
They left in the starry moonlight
Fog on the windows
for @ driving night
With PCH North closed they took Yerba Buena…
a curvy fright!
A Greyhound bus to catch! No time – a Plight!
The driver took care
Hugging curves like a dare
With them feeling so nauseous
One should be more cautious
Such driving with sass
Then out of the stillness;
someone dropped ass
To the side of the road they pulled
Then there was Rion…projectile vomiting
In the still of the night
They rolled back on Kanan
Then 2 minutes later it felt like A-men
They recklessly laughed with glee
Enticing Desire? What new shall now be?
Yep…it took me 2.5 days to recover to a point where I could really get anything done afterwards…I wasn’t contagious but just thrown off; nauseous, tired, dizzy and raspy; a culmination of things.
With that said, we’d love for you to join us at Destin’s BIG event: Evolve Live L.A. Use this promo code ‘Rion’ and save 10% off of your tickets. Make sure you seek me out and talk when you’re there so we can connect.